14 March 2012

10 Reasons why long distance relationships are hard

So I am writing this for a girlfriend of mine because I have experienced several long distance relationships and I know the pain she is feeling right now. I feel for her. You are obviously reading it because you too, have experienced it at some stage in your life or you are considering starting a long distance relationship or you are in a long distance relationship at the moment.

Here are my 10 reasons why long distance relationships are very hard:

1.Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it makes the heart wonder
Whoever created that saying must not have had a long distance relationship.  I really don't believe that when someone is not in your presence and you don't see them, you grow fonder of them.  I believe the longer they are away the easier it becomes to live without them and let them go.  Unless of course you are in constant contact with them and you know you will see them soon.

2.Lack of Communication
If you don't hear from your partner for days at time or even for one day when you have not seen them for a long while is very upsetting. A lack of communication will cause all sorts of arguments that you normally would not have had.  Ladies don't forget Men, find it hard to communicate and will struggle with committing to regular, SKYPE, TANGO (never heard of TANGO - get onto it, its a free app), VIBER, SMS or even just phone calls, and you may as well just forget emails, be prepared for this.

3.Failure to express how you feel 
If you or your partner do not regularly tell each other that you care and that you will be together one day soon, be prepared for the distance to create distance. 

4.No physical interaction
Sex is a very important part of a successful relationship, be prepared to live without it. You might need to invest in some toys. Honestly, ladies do you expect your man to live without it? 

5.Jealousy & insecurity 
All of the social networks will ensure you all of your insecurities and deepest worries about your relationship are brought to the surface. You will begin to doubt. There is no doubt about this.

6.The tears, loneliness and heartache
This is unnecessary. The heartache, the tears and loneliness, be prepared for it. It HURTS!

7.I miss you 
Be prepared to say and hear those words on a regular basis and be prepared to really miss that person. Be prepared for the missing you part to consume your mind and disrupt your everyday life.  

8. It's frustrating
The frustration of not being able to touch, hold, feel, smell and sit in the same room as someone you care about on a regular basis will drive you mental, think of ways to combat your frustration.

9.  It's costly 
Unless you have an endless budget, be prepared to invest alot of extra money & time into making your relationship work.  I am a believer in giving things a real go, so I have spent alot of money visiting interstate partners. What a waste of my money and my time.

10. If you fail to plan, you will fail
I really believe the only way a long distance relationship can work is if you and your partner have a solid plan in place.  This plan needs to include:
  • A complete understanding of your expectations of each other, whilst you are apart
  • A realistic communication schedule 
  • Effective communication
  • Cyber sex & dirty talk
  • A budget
  • Openness, honesty, trust and understanding
  • Timely visits - you need to know when you will be seeing each other
  • Set a date to re-unite

If you can commit to all of that then happy days If not well....

Now , I am not saying long distance relationships cannot work, because there are many success stories, but what I am saying is that if there is no communication, plan cyber sex and common goal, long distance relationships are destined for failure.

This is just my opinion based on real experiences, I'm definitely not an expert!
What do you think? Talk to me. 

1 comment:

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